In today’s society, with constant judgement on the internet, competition in work roles and biased media, it can be difficult to feel confident. It’s something we all struggle with from time to time, but if you follow these 5 rules you can be on your way to feeling more confident in your daily life.
- Be comfortable with and in yourself.
This is much less to do with your physical attributes, and more with your mental state. Have you heard of the saying, “How are you going to expect anyone to love you if you can’t love yourself?”? Because it applies to lots of different situations – including this one. If you exude a confident state, others will assume that you are generally a confident person, and follow your moves. Lack of confidence often stems from the fear of being put down by others. Being comfortable with and in yourself means, even temporarily, accepting and acknowledging your flaws, and choosing to ignore them.
- Surround yourself with supportive people.
It’s hard to feel confident when you’re surrounded by people who don’t give you a reason to be. Do yourself a favour and get rid of judgemental “friends” and spend your valuable time with people who appreciate you for who you are. Their admiration for you will help your self-assurance grow. The more comfortable in yourself you are, the more confident you will become.
- Practise makes perfect.
Some people seem to be born confident, but for others, it’s a skill they firstly have to acquire. Let’s imagine you have to speak publicly; whether that’s giving a speech, a presentation, or contributing to a debate. If the thought of any of those gets you warm under the pits, the best thing to do is practise. Get those great friends of tip 2 acting as your audience. Practise your lines in the mirror to become familiar with the ideas you want to convey and the words you plan to communicate convincingly.
- Be prepared for a knock down.
The thing about real confidence is, you can’t expect it to come to you instantly. It takes time to build and perfect it. Sometimes you can be on your way to feeling more confident and something (or more likely, someone) will ruin that for you. Maybe someone said something hostile in the heat of the moment in an argument, or you can’t fit into those jeans that you usually love. Either way, you must be prepared to build yourself back up. There are trials and tribulations to learning all skills, but when you reach the end goal; it’s rewarding!
- You can always pretend and fake it till you make it.
This works really well for temporary-confidence, for example, a 10-minute job interview, or asking the person you fancy out. Confidence is great, sure, but the illusion of confidence is all you really need. If you’re going in for a piano exam, they teach you in the lesson to ignore any mistakes you make and carry on playing. Sometimes, if you’re convincing enough, people won’t even notice the mistake, and will assume it was part of the composition. This often happens in real life too. Think of the confident people you know? Most of them are blagging, they’re just really good at it.
I hope these points have helped you and made you think about the things you could reconsider in your life to be on track building confidence. Remember though, not everyone feels confident all the time, but always try the best you can to improve your self-confidence.
Written by Leah Perry